Its the end of an era

Well, yesterday my good friend Jay Moore announced that he was leaving garagegames.
Read it here.

I dont know about anyone else, but to me, it feels like the end of an era. An era where we had big dreams and big plans. The last 4 years have been really interesting, not least because I've struggled and overcome and struggled some more.

I guess change is inevitable and change is usually good. But I've got a sneaky feeling that things are never going to quite have the same spirit they once had.

I'll miss you Jay. And good luck with your next gig!

On another note entirely, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts this month. Maybe its buying a house, but I also think part of it is to do with being active and reading a few forums and websites. Mainly I guess the indiegamer.com forums, but also looking at gametrailers.com and just taking in what is happening.

Indie games are being consumed by the "borg" of casual gaming. If you read indiegamer.com, there are so many indies hoping that cloning a match 3 or a bubble popper is going to make them rich.

Then you look at the AAA industry and theyre all hoping that cloning GTA or Halo is going to make them rich.

Whatever happened to people being creative? Whatever happened to independance or uniqueness in all of this?

I know, its very much in the trends of all media to become some homogenous mass of crap, but I never thought games would become such cynically derivative rubbish. I just hope a few people decide that they, like me, dont want that kind of industry and decide to walk a different path. I guess it compared to M Knight Shyamalans films in many ways. Try and do something different. Not just "pirates of the carribean N" 2 at this point.

Ok, my game might not be overly innovative. But its at least written with love. At least its an expresion of us as developers. At least its not written by committee and created because it makes some accountant happy.

But hey, we carry on. We keep going. We keep creating. Because its what we do, its what we are, its what gives us a reason to be. Even if its unappreciated and uncommercial and lambasted and hell, even if its plain old bad.

So the industry can do what it likes. I've got no plans on paying any attention anymore, its simply too much of a waste of time.

Thank god for the internet

Call me a crotchety old fart if you like (and I know you will - .z.), but I'm becoming more and more thankful for the internet.

There is a notion amongst all game developers and indies are no exception, that there is some magical path to riches. Basically it usually involves making some mega hit game and then selling out to a hyper rich sugar daddy of a company.

Frankly, I'm getting weary of the whole games industry as it is. I hear so many stories and I've seen it enough myself to know that in general, I'm far better off where I am (meaning part game dev, part academic). At least I have the happy position that I dont have to kill myself to get a game shipped only to make millions for someone else.

But even a good thing like the indie scene has its downsides. Mostly these are down to the naive attitudes of many indies.

1) They believe they will "make it"
2) There are plenty of people who will prey on that naivet'e

I have no misconceptions or delusions of grandier about Air Ace. I dont expect it to make anything much. Its in a niche of a market that is itself a niche. If we get 500 people subbed it would be a miracle.

But thats not why we are doing it. We are doing it, because frankly, there is no other option. Because it is a project we need to complete. Because we have faith in it as a game. Because we have had enough false starts that now we know we have a game we can finish, we will finish or be damned.

The end result really doesnt matter. Having something finished is far more important to me than anything. It means that no matter what, no matter who gets in our way or the curveballs that are thrown at us, we will continue. We are the unstoppable force.

The reason why I say I'm thankful for the internet. Is that once we ship the game, we are then directly connected to our audience. We become symbiotic in nature. No matter what happens from then on, we can fundamentally feel satisfied in the knowledge that we have created something SOMEONE values.

It wont be some shallow pride in shipping. It will be full-on pride in knowing we have achieved some measure of enjoyment by entertaining a few souls. That is something that is important to me. We arent doing this just for kicks to be sure, but also, we arent doing it as some cynical money grinder. There is at least some integrity in knowing that at the end of this long road, we will achieve for a short time at least, that special thing that comes from entertaining others. You see it from all entertainers, the sheer pleasure of making someone else's life less miserable or unimportant.

I guess I'm getting all new age and stuff. I guess reality is that people dont think of thier developers when they play games. I know I havent thought about how great someone is for developing a game I love. But they SHOULD feel proud that I love thier creation.

So forget the business. Forget the marketing and all of the other stuff. For now, its because this is where the heart is.

Man, I'm a soppy git sometimes!!!!